Being yourself is terrifying.

In a previous post I mentioned my haunting career situation at this point. Up to today I have felt very calm and collected about everything but I am starting to feel like this can be compared to a "bad date" situation. (Is he going to call? Should I call him? Did I say something stupid?)

On August 8th I went to a job fair and met an up and coming Orthodontist in the area who has been searching for an Office Manager for her practice opening in mid to late September. She expressed that she would not be contacting anyone for interviews until the beginning of September. That one comment has kept me going for the past -almost- month. I am typically NOT a let things play out kind of girl. However, with this one I have been. surprise.

The dilemma is that I am starting to behave like an insecure school girl about getting an interview. This job is my dream job, where I can use all of my experiences and schooling together to grow an Orthodontic practice in my home town. This job intimidates the crap out of me, but I am beyond up for the challenge. I am quite qualified for the job, which is not what scares me. Its, what if someone else is more qualified.

Whats neat about this situation is that the Dr. possibly hiring me, is actually a friend of my step-sister, and other friends of mine in the community, who I have all heard wonderful feedback from. I have no choice but to remain calm, and maintain my confidence, but could it be any harder the closer you come to getting that call?

So, what makes me think I would be the best for this job, and why is this specific office the best for me? Well, I'm glad you asked. Something I have learned in my past experiences with office management and direct sales is that when you open a practice (or in my case a skin care and cosmetic business) it takes a lot of heart to establish and maintain success. I have been in a position where I have hired others and they took advantage. I believe that everything I do is an extension of me. I put my heart into everything I do, and I pride myself in my work. There is no "half assing" (for lack of better words) with me. To be successful it does take hard work, skill and many other things, but heart is what makes or breaks it. Yourself, as well as your staff must have the correct motives and work together for a common goal in order for a goal that big to take off. I would want this practice to be as successful as the owner. Not because its my practice, but because I take pride in being a part of it.

This career move, for me, would be a huge blessing for my family and it would mean the world to us. I can confidently say that I want this more than anyone else. This would mean that my husband and I could have another child, build a house, and get completely out of debt. Maybe we could even take a family vacation sometime. This would be a career I would stay at all my life if permitted, and would allow for time with my family I have never had before.

I know that I should not even be nervous about it. The best thing I can do is "be myself" but ya know, when you want something sooooo bad yourself is the terrifying part.

I feel like this was placed in my path on purpose. It gives me something to look forward to and has completely gotten my mind rolling in the right direction. This is the only position that made me completely reconsider becoming a pink Cadillac sales director and getting out of MK completely. I know God has shut that door and I cannot wait to see where the next one opens.

I am not the kind of girl that just wants to go to work. I crave structure and I crave goal setting. Although I would not have much room for advancement, as I'd be starting out as the Office Manager, I would still have the challenge of growing the practice which is still quite exciting. Just like in marriage, I look forward to being able to say that I have been in one place for 25 years. I want a career I can be proud of!

As I get closer and closer to September I get more and more nervous. Jays family reunion is this weekend so at least I will have something to distract me.

Keep your fingers crossed for me! :)

I have not had an official interview in quite a few years, so please feel free to comment with advice you would like to give! Thanks so much!

The Problem With Pink

I was very happy to see that 20 people read my first blog! That may not sound like a lot to anybody, but hey, thats exciting to a first time blogger!

The popular question of the day seemed to be "omg! omg! you're not doing mk anymore?!?"

Ya see how I dropped that bomb there, eh? I was wondering if I should say anything because I am not 100% sure at this point, but let me go ahead and explain myself.

First of all, I'd like to state for the record that Mary Kay is one of the most amazing companies I have ever known about in my life. I have learned more from my experience with Mary Kay than any other life experience so far. The way you can live God First, Family Second, and Career Third, is phenomenal. 

Being your own boss, making money, prizes, girl time, free cars...should I go on?

The thing is, that is all great if you eat, sleep, breathe, pink. Which I have. 

I am at a spot in life where my son is going into preschool. When he was a baby I needed to be home 24/7. I am one of those moms who nursed for 13 months, made my own home made baby food and never let anyone watch my child but me for a very long time. I had extreme anxiety and Mary Kay fit well with that. When I was 13 weeks pregnant I was let go from my full time job with a company I had been at for about 4 years, and with a baby on the way, I couldn't just go get another job. Especially one that would've paid that well. You can only get maternity leave if you've been at a company for 1 year, so my options were go work for someone else and miss everything. Miss being the mommy I wanted to be- or work for myself and make my first time mommy dreams come true. 

It also helped that at that time, I was nationally ranked in Mary Kay and I thought I could never fail. 

At that point, Mary Kay seemed to be a no brainer. At that point, I had no idea what I was really getting into. 

Now that I have been in for 3 years, I have noticed, that I crave stability, as anyone would. With Mary Kay, you CAN pick it up and put it down, but you'll never get anywhere that way. You are either full on, or you've made the decision to just maintain what you've already accomplished. When I say I crave stability, I mean that I WANT to get up, and go to work. I want to know that I get off at 5, and have nothing but family time for the rest of the night. I want to look forward to the weekend. "no set schedule" is a selling point in the company, but my son and husband are on normal schedules, so why would I make a schedule that conflicts with theirs? Its hard to be in direct sales and book parties for when the masses are at work. Therefore, Jay would get off work at 5:30pm, we'd rush through dinner, and I'd have a party at 6:30. As of right now, I watch my son all day, but when he goes to preschool it will not just be my marriage that suffers, but my child too. I am just not okay with that. 

My second reason, is that I really want a boss. The past 6 years, I have not worked for a traditional company. (The one I got let go from was ran by a man who did things a little weird) I really would like to have a normal boss, go into work, know what I am doing, and come home. In Mary Kay, You have no boss, no baby sitter. No consequences. Which can be good and bad.

I believe that I am simply made for something different. No matter what our situations in life are, sometimes you just need a change. It is possible that I could pick up my business after a while. I guess we will see. There is so much more to this, but lets just say that I am more than ready for the next season of life. My husband and I have big dreams of building a home, taking a vacation, and just living life. 

I am excited about a specific position that I have applied for. It is an office management position at a new Orthodontic Office. I could finally use my degree! :) I'll keep everyone posted on what happens next. If you have questions, feel free to ask.