It all gets better! :)
For the past few years Jay and I have been feeling defeated, even when we didn't know it. We have had a cloud over our heads for a long time, mainly because of finances. We lost our main income when I was 13 weeks pregnant. Over this time we have had things to help us get through. However, we both knew it was never enough.
Right before I got pregnant and lost that job, I made the most important decision of my life, accepting God.
I asked God to change me and put me into my destiny. I asked God to bring me closer to him. I asked him to make my dreams come true.
When you say "make my dreams come true" you must know first, what those dreams are right? At the time, I guess I didn't. I knew what I wanted, but let me tell you, what I wanted 2 years ago, has nothing to do with my dreams right now.
Everything in life is constantly changing. The things you want right now, that you cant live without may be nothing close to what you want in 6 months.
What I was really asking God was "make my dreams come true, as long as that means giving me what I think I want"
The truth of the matter is, WE don't know our dreams. Only God does. Only God can see our whole hearts.
He can see our past, present, and future at the same time. He knows where we've been and he knows where we're going.
When I had accepted God into my life I had no idea what I was doing, or how much it would change me. I had not been to church, and I grew up in an environment where I wasn't really allowed to go to church. I basically woke up one day and told Jay I wanted to get baptized. I picked out a fancy church down the street and I called the journey pastor. I was baptized a week later.
I knew that a relationship of this magnitude does not happen over night. I have had to seriously challenge myself on many things, but it has been SO worth it. We have had a ton of pain this year, to tell you honestly. Only because we had things in our lives that were not meant to be. A baby, a renewed marriage, 3 job changes, and a whole lot of faith later I can tell you that it all happened for the best.
You see, God doesn't just say "okay my child, you've accepted me, here is everything you want." NO! He will test your faith, and he will make sure your motives are right. He will challenge your heart, and when HE decides you're somebody he can use- THEN you will receive your destiny. If he tests you, and you fail, He will keep testing you until you pass.
I will tell you that my story is not over. With faith, I will tell you that God put a dream in my heart, and with EXTREME faith, I believe there are wonderful things coming my way.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways, submit to him
and he will make your paths straight.
proverbs 3:5-6
GOD IS GREAT!
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